Adult Alphabet Soup / Sweary Noodle Soup

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Betty’s back in the kitchen with a hilarious f-bomb filled recipe video (not suitable for children). Betty Lou created this recipe for Jenna Marbles who recently attempted to recreate Amy’s Alphabet Soup by mixing tomato soup in a box with alphabet noodles.

Betty Lou was certain she could create something better without the boxed soup. I tasted it myself and I have to say it’s much better than any alphabet or tomato soup I’ve ever had – that’s saying a lot for someone who was obsessed with tomato soup as a kid.

Have a laugh and watch this entertaining video, then see below for the full written recipe.

Sweary Noodle Soup by Betty Lou

  • 2 cups g-damn water (add more if you like it less thick)
  • 1 small bitty fucking can of tomato paste (those cute little cans)
  • 2 large fucking dates or 4 small dates, pitted (aka cock roaches)
  • 1/4 cup shitty assed frozen corn
  • 1/2 cup fucking peas
  • 1/2 tsp damn garlic powder
  • 1/2 tsp fucking onion powder
  • 2 small or 1 medium potato chopped into little fucking squares
  • 1/4 tsp salt or 1/2 tsp for salt-a-fucking-holics
  • 1/3 to 1/2 cup dry alphabet noodles that swear

Throw your fucking water, tomato paste, dates and spices in the shitty assed blender. Blend the shit out of it until smooth as fuck.  Add mixture to a medium pot.  Add corn, peas and potato. Bring to a boil then simmer and cover until it’s fucking done. You’ll know it’s done by the softness of the taters.

In a separate pot bring water to an angry boil, add noodles and boil the shit out of them until done. Or follow package directions.

Drain noodles when done and add to the soup that’s taking forever because I forgot to tell you to cook the fucking potatoes ahead of time.

Serve with adult crackers, you know, the kind with flax and shit in it.

 

 

My Favorite Weight Loss Guide is on Sale Again!

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My favorite e-book is on sale again!  If you’ve been thinking about getting healthier this year and want long term results this IS IT. Seriously, you can thank me later.

I did the Lean & Clean 14 challenge with a bunch of people back in November (a bunch.. meaning oh… 6000 or so people).  Hannah did such a great job with the meal plan, the recipes are easy to follow and there’s enough variety to give you plenty of opportunities to find your new regular meals.  I absolutely LOVE the Curry fries and the oh so creamy Mango Curry dip,  I accidentally paired the two together and I’m hooked. It’s been a regular for me ever since.

I lost approximately 2 lbs on the 14 day plan. That’s without calorie counting and just eating until I’m satisfied.  Keep in mind, I’m 41 years old and I have Hashimoto’s. Plus I had been eating clean prior to the challenge so it would have been unlikely to see a sudden drop.  However if you’re coming from a standard American diet, you may see a drastic drop in the beginning – most of which is the release of fluid retention from a high salt diet.

There’s so many awesome testimonials in the Facebook support group that was made for this e-book.  Weight loss and drastic improvements in blood pressure have been the most common so far.  In the long run I expect to see more testimonials on medications being eliminated, especially in the area of diabetes.

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Did I mention how tasty the Garlic Mashed potatoes are? Oh and the breakfasts are hands down my favourite.  I’m going to end this here before I make myself hungry again.

Hannah’s sale won’t last long. She hasn’t given me a solid date when it ends but it seems it may be gone by January 7th and not likely another sale until Black Friday of 2017.

Get your copy today and I hope to see you in the Lean & Clean Facebook Group! Drop me a line and say hello!  Click here and be sure to use the code NEWYEARNEWME.

If you are reading after the sale is over and kicking yourself for missing it – I got your back! Use the code  BananaWisdom for 10% off.

 

 

Healthy Chocolate Chip Cookies – aka Magical Cookies [Vegan & Gluten Free]

IMG_2538.jpgAdapted from Happy Herbivore’s Magical Cookies [Happy Herbivore Holidays & Gatherings].  I accidentally made my own version of these cookies due to not having enough unsweetened apple sauce on hand. The original recipe also called for some ingredients measured in ounces which was a pain in the ass to convert. I also found that there was too many chocolate chips – that’s a first for me! After a couple of batches I ended up with this version.  These are great to take to gatherings to wow your non vegan friends and family. They won’t even know they are vegan.

Ingredients:

2 cups natural peanut butter

2 cups unsweetened applesauce

3 small spotty bananas, pureed in a blender

1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

3 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract

3 1/2 cups rolled oats (I used quick oats)

1 1/2 cups dried cranberries or raisins

1 cup vegan chocolate chips

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper and set aside.
  2. Mix peanut butter, apple sauce and banana puree in a large bowl
  3. Stir in cinnamon and vanilla
  4. Add in cranberries and oats, stir until well blended, sometimes I like to add extra oats to make the cookies firmer
  5. Stir in chocolate chips
  6. Spoon onto cookie sheet, or shape into balls and flatten. They will pretty much stay the same shape when fully cooked. So shape them how you want them now.
  7. Bake for 20 – 30 minutes.  Stay close to the oven after 15 minutes and keep an eye on them.