Adult Alphabet Soup / Sweary Noodle Soup


Betty’s back in the kitchen with a hilarious f-bomb filled recipe video (not suitable for children). Betty Lou created this recipe for Jenna Marbles who recently attempted to recreate Amy’s Alphabet Soup by mixing tomato soup in a box with alphabet noodles.

Betty Lou was certain she could create something better without the boxed soup. I tasted it myself and I have to say it’s much better than any alphabet or tomato soup I’ve ever had – that’s saying a lot for someone who was obsessed with tomato soup as a kid.

Have a laugh and watch this entertaining video, then see below for the full written recipe.

Sweary Noodle Soup by Betty Lou

  • 2 cups g-damn water (add more if you like it less thick)
  • 1 small bitty fucking can of tomato paste (those cute little cans)
  • 2 large fucking dates or 4 small dates, pitted (aka cock roaches)
  • 1/4 cup shitty assed frozen corn
  • 1/2 cup fucking peas
  • 1/2 tsp damn garlic powder
  • 1/2 tsp fucking onion powder
  • 2 small or 1 medium potato chopped into little fucking squares
  • 1/4 tsp salt or 1/2 tsp for salt-a-fucking-holics
  • 1/3 to 1/2 cup dry alphabet noodles that swear

Throw your fucking water, tomato paste, dates and spices in the shitty assed blender. Blend the shit out of it until smooth as fuck.  Add mixture to a medium pot.  Add corn, peas and potato. Bring to a boil then simmer and cover until it’s fucking done. You’ll know it’s done by the softness of the taters.

In a separate pot bring water to an angry boil, add noodles and boil the shit out of them until done. Or follow package directions.

Drain noodles when done and add to the soup that’s taking forever because I forgot to tell you to cook the fucking potatoes ahead of time.

Serve with adult crackers, you know, the kind with flax and shit in it.